My kick of motivation
Went for a run.
For the first time in my life.
It was the shittest runs in the existence of runs.. but I RAN.. IN PUBLIC.. BY MYSELF.
The main reason it was shit was because my trousers kept falling down even though I had them tided tight D: so in the end I had to give up and walk.
BUT I WENT OUTSIDE. ON MY OWN. IN JOGGING GEAR. TO RUN.. I need you to grasp how amazing that is xD
Congratulations you absolute badass!!
Also why does this not have more notes?!
AT MY HIGHEST
I know I usually don’t write personal posts but I need to vent. This will take a lot to admit.
At the end of summer I was so excited and motivated. I had started running and was back at the gym for yoga and spinning and my eating and drinking habits were back normal again.
Then came school and work and the stress and I felt like I had no time. All these are excuses, I KNOW. I tried to work out as much as possible and even kept a food diary, but knew I wasn’t doing so good anymore.
I went on (what felt like) a well worth vacation for 3 weeks, and didn’t work out at all, drank wine and beer every day, ate out every night, celebrated Christmas and new years and really really enjoyed my self.
I came home last night and even though I technically believe that my goal weight will not show on a scale but I’ll feel it, I decided to weighed myself…
93,5 kg. Ninety three point five kilograms.
I’m in shock.
That’s more than ever before. I have been crying on and off since I saw that number. Crying isn’t going to help but seriously, I feel like the biggest piece of shit there ever was and such a hypocrite for always saying that I try to live healthy and look after myself.
I have been feeling it, my jeans are tighter and I just feel bloated, but I could never have imagined this.
I hate this so much right now and feel like I can’t say anything else than I need to get back on the horse. Running, gym, eating healthy. I need a plan, I need to do something. I will need help, I can’t do this myself, I know that by now.
Please keep any messages positive, stick all your negative bullshit somewhere else.